Birthday Present
by hichigomate
Summary: A birthday present for Rine-chan, one amazing girl. Hope you like it!


**Rine-chan, this is your birthday present! Care to know what it is? Kind of obvious, actually. It's a Sanzo-Goku fic! I'm going to try very hard to keep it in canon and in character, so I hope you'll be satisfied with the end result! Although, Goku isn't all that in character in the beginning, but that's just because he's being all angsty.**

**Sincerely,**

**Lirin-chan**

**Birthday Present**

Everyone could tell there was something wrong. There was actual silence as they rode down the barren desert; you could only hear the occasional bird squacking in the distance. There was an oppressive air that held the occupants of one Jeep down, seeming to suffocate them as they watched the landscape pass by. It was unbearable, and there seemed no real cause for it.

Cho Hakkai, the normally cheerful ningen-turned-youkai, had no reason to smile as he drove Hakuryuu, not even humming today. His usually smiling face was set in a thoughtful expression, his cool green eyes flicking to the side mirrors every so often.

Sha Gojyo was leaning on the side of Jeep, a glowing cigarette hanging from limp lips, lazily staring up at the sky. His head was resting on his hand on the side of Jeep, and his legs were spread out as far as they could go in the seat. The odd thing was that he wasn't fighting with Son Goku, who was resting beside him. Normally, the two would go all out, with punches, with harsh words, and somewhat brotherly love. But not today.

Said monkey king appeared to be sleeping soundly, his head pillowed on his crossed arms which lay on the back of Hakkai's seat. His cape-like contraption was, for the first time in a while, off and somewhere in the back of Jeep, out of the way. He appeared to be snoring softly.

Genjyo Sanzo, the last in this surprisingly somber little ikkou, was sitting with his violet eyes closed, smoking his own brand of cigarette with his arms crossed. He appeared to be enjoying the serenity, not even caring that it wasn't normal.

Hakuryuu made a soft "kyuu" noise as Hakkai parked it in the middle of nowhere, stopping only to pull a small map from near his feet. He looked at it for a few minutes before sighing and putting it away.

"What's wrong, Hakkai?" Sanzo asked; a sighing Hakkai never meant anything good.

"Hm? Oh, it's nothing really. I was just thinking that we'll be in town by tonight, but I keep feeling like I'm forgetting something." Hakkai replied, stepping on the gas once more.

"Hn." Was the monk's answer.

"Tonight? We'll be in town tonight? Finally, after nearly two weeks, I'll get to sleep in a real bed." Gojyo sighed, a smile pricking his lips.

"Yes, I think we're all happy about that, Gojyo. I'm sure Goku is, aren't you?" Hakkai smiled, but it seemed a little forced.

"..." Goku's silence answered him; it appeared he was still sleeping.

"Well. I was planning on..."

Goku opened his soft golden eyes, staring at the skin revealed on his arms as he listened to the light chatter of the rest of the ikkou. He remembered when he'd join in immediately; was it really only a week ago? Before, he'd stare longingly at Sanzo, but in a purely admiring fashion. Before, he'd joke around with Gojyo, picking fights just because he could. Before, he'd ask absurd and inquiring questions of Hakkai, and play with Hakuryuu. But he couldn't do that anymore.

If only he could return to before that time, before the memory of those cold hands gripping his cheeks bruisingly, of cruel words that hit him like slaps in the face. He wished he could erase the sense of betrayel, the sense that it had all happened because of him. Goku moved to place a hand on his aching heart; what would his sun say if he knew what had transpired that night? Would he be pissed, like he usually was? Would he say it wasn't Goku's fault? Or would he simply shrug it off, uncaring?

Goku felt his eyes burn at the mere thought.

**xx**

"Goku? Goku, wake up. We've arrived at the town." Hakkai gently shook Goku's shoulder, waiting for those innocent eyes to open before stepping back. "Sanzo has already gone to find an inn, and Gojyo went to visit the local bar. I was curious to know if you'd like to join me while I shopped for supplies?"

The ancient youkai looked around, noticing that the others were indeed gone. Feeling that air of dejectedness settle over him, he shrugged. "Sure, Hakkai."

The Chi user's bright smile dimmed somewhat at the unenthusiastic response, but he didn't let it discourage him. "Alright, let's go then! We'll let Hakuryuu fly off to join Sanzo, okay?"

Goku nodded and climbed out of Jeep, stetching to loose cramped muscles. Steeling himself, he pushed his shoulders back and followed Hakkai down the street. They stopped for fruit, vegetables, meat, beer, cigarettes, and sweet snacks, as well as a soba noodle shop for dinner for the ikkou.

Hakkai, as they carried their groceries back to the inn, was unsure how he wanted to pose his question for Goku. He wanted to know what was making Goku so depressed, but he didn't want to just come out and ask, _What's going on with you?_ That would be rude, and although he was usually blunt, he didn't want to scare Goku off. He was thinking pretty hard about what to say when Goku solved his dilenma for him.

"Hakkai? Can I talk to you later?" Goku asked in a low voice, eyes downcast as if he were afraid Hakkai was going to reject him.

Hakkai smiled and nodded. "Of course, Goku. We can talk in a little while if you want; let's just get these supplies packed and the dinner laid out."

Goku nodded and helped him, so they could get through the job quickly. But, once they were in Hakkai's room and he was sitting on the bed, he was suddenly anxious, unsure of how to precede. _Should I come out and tell it all? Should I just ask him? What if he laughs at me? What if...what if he agrees with them?_ He gulped, his eyes burning and his hands clenching to make a fist. He didn't normally think such things, but today was an exception.

"Goku? What is it you wanted to talk about? Are you feeling alright?" The second half of that came out hushed, but it was enough to set Goku off.

Without thinking about the consequences, Goku heaved himself up and at Hakkai, who'd been setting about his bed things, throwing his arms around the man who'd become family to him, the whole story pouring from his mouth. "It was horrible, Hakkai! I see it every night, every day, every time I close my eyes! I can't stand it anymore. Everyday I hear their terrible whispers, calling me 'monster' and 'demon,' saying I should never have been created. Telling me that I'm not good enough to be in the presence of such an esteemed person as Sanzo, and that one day he's just going to kill me!" Goku sobbed into that coarse shirt, his whole body trembling in reaction to the words he spoke.

"Oh, Goku..." Hakkai breathed, closing his eyes and pulling the older-than-life boy into his 'motherly' embrace, running a hand through that soft brown hair in sympathy. Goku seemed to be bottling so much emotion inside; he was saturating the very air with it. He could only help the boy to release it.

"I couldn't stand it! They beat me, Hakkai. Threw rocks at me, kicked me, punched me, and beat me with sticks. But I didn't fight back. I couldn't. It would be wrong, but also, deep down inside, I thought they were right. No, listen to me, Hakkai." Goku said quietly when Hakkai would have protested after a shocked gasp. "What if I were to lose control again? What if I were to someday kill you, or Gojyo? What if I took the life of the one who's most important to me? I think they're right; I am a monster." He whispered, his eyes slowly drying.

"Don't you think you should let those who really know you decide that for themselves, rather than saying it yourself?"

Goku gasped and jerked his head up; Sanzo was standing in the open doorway, his face illuminated to show a fierce scowl and a cigarette dangling from limp fingers. He'd shed his normal outfit so that now he stood in his black undershirt and jeans. Goku pressed closer to Hakkai, but the Chi user gently let him go.

"I think you two should talk. Goku, I'll be right outside in the parlor if you need me." When Hakkai passed by Sanzo, he whispered, "Be nice to him, Sanzo. He's having it hard." And then he left them alone.

Goku gulped and stepped back until he was pressed against the wall, not liking the harsh look in Sanzo's eyes at all. In fact, that look scared him quite a bit. He didn't know what Sanzo was going to do, so when the monk starting walking foreword, he flinched.

Sanzo paused at the table, crushing his cigarette in the empty ashtray only to pull out another and light it. He took a long suck on it before speaking. "Just..._what_ the hell made you suddenly decide to listen to what stupid bastards say in the first place?" He asked, glaring in Goku's general direction.

Goku shrugged and looked down, but flinched when Sanzo suddenly slammed his palm on the wall, just inches from his head. "Look at me when you talk, saru."

Normally, Goku would take offense to the insult, but this time it only gave him enough anger to speak softly. "Because, Sanzo, I'm worthless. I can't do anything write, I'm always hungry, and I go berserk whenever I lose my limiter. I can't tell friend from foe then, and I know I've done something terrible in my past that I can't remember! You guys have said it before yourselves!" He felt like crying again; no, he was crying again. He could feel the warm tears running down his cold, pale cheeks.

Sanzo ground his teeth, the end of the cigarette clamping. Enraged, he twirled around, grinding out, "Come on." When Goku didn't move, he gripped his wrist hard enough to cause the other to wince, before dragging him over to the bed and throwing him down. He rummaged through Hakkai's overnight bag on the floor, grumbling as he searched for the elusive item.

"S-Sanzo? What's-"

Sanzo stood and cut him off; he was holding a razor blade in his hand. Goku's eyes widened and he crawled backward, but his back hit the wall and he couldn't go any farther. He was seriously spooked now; was Sanzo planning on hurting him? On killing him?

Sanzo knelt on the bed in front of Goku, grasping his wrist once more and drew it foreword. When he placed the sharp edge of the blade at Goku's palm, the boy-like man looked away, clenching his eyes shut and withholding a sob. But Sanzo's hand tightened, and he growled,

"Look at me, Goku!"

He did, turning with wide eyes and trembling lips, what had to be fear shimmering in his eyes. But Sanzo didn't let that sway him. He pressed the edge downward, drawing it to the side to make a long, deep gash. Goku whimpered in pain, but he didn't close his eyes again; instead, he watched the red blood well up under Sanzo's pressing thumb.

"Look, Goku. What color is this? _What color?_" Sanzo demanded, forcing Goku's eyes away from his own and down to the wound.

"I-it's red." Goku answered in a quivering voice.

"What's it smell like? What's it feel like?" The monk demanded now, forcing the answers out with the increasing pressure of his thumb and fingers.

"Salty, metallic. It feels like really wet mud. Sanzo, I don't-"

Sanzo cut him off again by removing his hand, but this time to draw the blade across his own palm, both of them watching the red well up above the long cut. He shoved his palm under Goku's nose. "What color is this, Goku?" His voice was softer, more controlled, but he still demanded an answer, and his eyes were still cold.

"R-red." Goku said, pushing his head back against the wall to escape that overpowering scent.

"That's right. And the smell? The texture?"

Goku tried to turn his head, but Sanzo clutched his brown hair with his uninjured hand and kept it where it was. "Answer me, Goku!"

"It smells metallic. It feels like water, only thicker. Sanzo, please! Why are you-"

For the third time, he was cut off, this time with a tug on his captured locks. He whimpered again, but it wasn't in pain. "That's right, Goku. My blood is red, your blood is red. My blood smells metallic, so does yours. They're both thick. What does that tell you? Our make-up is the same! If you're a monster, doest that make me a monster too, because the same blood as you runs through me too?" Sanzo tried very hard to control his voice, to control his body, but he found himself leaning down so that he was face to face with Goku, breathing in his scent and his gasping breath, glaring into those frightened eyes. Almost unwittingly, his bleeding hand found Goku's own bleeding hand, pressing the two together as their fingers intertwined. Neither seemed to notice.

"No! You're not a monster, Sanzo, but our blood isn't the same! I'm a youkai, and you're a holy person." Goku wanted to look away, but the look in those precious violet eyes held him captive, so he was forced to let Sanzo see the tears gathering in his own eyes.

Sanzo sighed. "Shut the hell up, Goku. Our species doens't matter. What about Hakkai, then? You've seen him bleed plenty of times. Isn't his blood the same as yours? Does that make him a monster, then?"

"N-no..." Goku whispered, sensing he was fighting a losing battle.

"And Go-wait, he might be considered one." Sanzo snorted, glancing to the side as he thought of the perverted kappa. This dismal conversation was getting on his nerves anyway. Clenching his teeth, a determined expression taking possession of his face, he let the hand clutching hair release the strands, only to travel down and caress suprisingly soft skin.

"Nye, Sanzo? W-what're you doing?" Goku sniffed, too afraid to move away, feeling his heart begin thumping out a slow, pounding rythm.

"I said it before. You shouldn't care about what those morons think; what should matter is what I-we think. Our opinions should be what matter most. And sure, we think you're an idiotic saru, a bottomless pit, and overall freakishly strong nuisance, but that doesn't mean I-we think you're a monster." Sanzo's thumb reached to caress a whisper-soft path over Goku's lips, which immediately parted on a gasp. _Damn it. I can't take it anymore._ Sanzo cursed and closed the distance between their lips, molding his chapped lips to Goku's as if they'd always been there.

Goku's eyes widened phenomonally, tears still sticking to his lashes, frozen in place as Sanzo continued to whisper his lips over his own. He couldn't believe this; was this really happening?! _Sanzo?! What're you doing? You don't like me like this, remember?! I don't get this at all!_

Sanzo pulled back a fraction of an inch, sensing Goku's confusion. "What's wrong? I want to show you that you aren't a monster, especially to me. You don't want that?"

Coming out of his stupor, Goku frantically shook his head, ripping his hand out of Sanzo's in order to pull the surprised monk closer and crush his lips to the other's. It seemed like so long since he'd last felt human contact that he couldn't resist trying to pull the monk closer, clutch him harder, kiss him deeper. He was eager for it all; for once, someone accepted him, all of him, and he wanted _everything_.

Sanzo's lips quirked in amusement. "Slow down; relax. I've got all night to show you that you're not a monster. Starting with...removing this." With that, he removed Goku's jeans and t-shirt, his cape and shoulder things having already been lost that day.

Goku shivered at the forceful way his Sanzo was suddenly acting; very much unlike himself. But it turned him on in so many ways that he just couldn't object! He shivered again when Sanzo suddenly let go of his hand, the drying blood from their pretty-much healed wounds sticking and pulling at their skin. That hand was pushed downward while Sanzo recaptured Goku's lips, distracting him from the fingers that were being lubricated with some wet blood and being pressed against legs spread by Sanzo's own knees.

Goku keened at feeling something foreign pushing against his body, but Sanzo's tongue, which just invaded his mouth, threw all his thoughts out the window, and he couldn't help but play with it. He winced when another finger was adding, but Sanzo wasn't giving him any room to question, or object. He gasped when Sanzo suddenly jerked away, staring into his flushed face and swollen lips, surprised to see the great volatile monk acting this way. He was going to say something, when a shock when through his body, causing him to arch and gasp loudly.

Sanzo smirked, pushing that spot a few more times before removing his fingers. Goku groaned and clutched at him, fearing he was leaving, but Sanzo just stood a little, taking off his jeans. They were getting far to constricting for his tastes.

Goku stared at Sanzo's toned body, feeling just the smallest hint of drool gathering in his mouth. Sanzo was big, Sanzo was hard, Sanzo was..._all male_. People may call him a poof, well, some might, but he definately wasn't.

"I sure hope you're ready, Goku, cause I'm not waiting any longer." Without waiting for a reply, Sanzo gripped Goku's legs and pushed them up, before pressing inside. He didn't stop until he was all the way in, breathing deeply at the feel of his saru encompassing him so completely, so tightly. _"Haa."_ He held himself still by sheer force of will, waiting.

"S-Sanzo..._please!_" Goku groaned; he didn't understand what he was feeling. It was all so new, so powerful. He felt...fulfilled, complete for the first time in his life. But, it wasn't enough. He needed something more, but he didn't know what that something was.

Sanzo let another small smirk cross his lips before shifting his hips back, feeling that tightness clutch him, as if not wanting to let him go. Who was he to resist such a request? He shoved back in, listening to Goku's loud moan, moving one arm to hold the saru close. The other arm he braced against the wall, the bed, setting up a pounding rythm that had himself choking back cries of pleasure and Goku, being his usual loud self, letting out small half-shrieks that resounded throughout the room.

All too soon, Goku felt that terrible pressure that was building under his stomach coil so tightly it all released, his toes curling and his head flying back to bash against the wall. He groaned loudly, feeling tears escape his tightly-shut eyes as he drug his nails down Sanzo's taut back. A sticky, hot substance flew from his body, splashing along his and Sanzo's stomach, and some even hitting his chin.

Sanzo grunted loudly, biting his lip hard to stop any more sounds from escaping. He gave a few more erratic thrusts before climaxing himself, deep inside Goku. He stayed tense for a few minutes, before all of his strength escaped him and he collapsed on top of Goku. Both were panting, sweating, but feeling much more relaxed than they had in weeks.

"So. _pant_ Did that convince you that you're not a monster? _pant_ After all, I wouldn't do such a thing to a monster." Sanzo said, wiping his sweaty bangs out of his eyes.

Goku looked down, before glancing up with a sly, seductive look in his eyes. "Hm, I dunno, Sanzo. I think I might take some more convincing before I truly believe it."

"...Animal."

**xx**

"Hey, Hakkai, where're Sa-mmph!" Gojyo's voice was cut off as Hakkai hastily placed his hand over his mouth, shushing him quietly.

"Please be quiet!" Hakkai whispered, before dragging Gojyo down the hall a bit until reaching Sanzo and Goku's room. He closed the door before allowing a blush and a chuckle to escape.

"What? What'd I miss?" Gojyo asked, confused.

"It's nothing, Gojyo. I just think that Goku will finally be back to his old self after tonight. Now, I believe we'll be sharing this room tonight, so shall we get some rest?"

Deciding to not try and not decode what Hakkai was saying, Gojyo shrugged and sat down on his bed, taking out a deck of cards. "Shall we play?"

**That's it! Hope you liked it, Rine-chan! I would have put this on , but I don't have time because I'm being rushed by matera, so yeah. A GREAT BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!! I HOPE IT WAS EVERYTHING YOU LIKED!!**


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